Do your beliefs limit, hinder or help you?
“You become the person that you believe you’ll become”
If you invest enough time thinking and feeling that you will never get anywhere in life, then guess what? Your self-fulfilling prophecy will come true …
… but if you think and feel that it’s possible for you to achieve anything you put your mind towards then it suddenly becomes all possible for you, the doors that once were closed open and the ideas come streaming forth.
Don’t you ever wonder how this all takes place? Well, it has everything to do with our core beliefs.
Our core beliefs are an assumption, inference and supposition that guides and navigates our behaviour. It’s how we see ourselves and how we perceive things around us and thus dictates how we relate to others and the decisions we make.
There’s a lot of confusion about the difference between beliefs, values, attitudes and behaviours – although they are very much intertwined and one does not work without the other, they play very different roles.
Your beliefs pave or block your way to success…
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a debate, an argument of some sort – where you firmly held an opinion and an acceptance that something is true, especially one without proof, evidence or data?
Well, my dearest, that is your belief system at play. Beliefs are what we believe to be true… and one cannot tango with a strong held belief system because one at times cannot explain by reason nor logic.
As you can see our belief system is a set of beliefs that drive our decisions, that helps us interpret our everyday reality, understand, organise and make sense of the world. A belief system is a network of beliefs that we each hold about what is, or should be, right and wrong, true and false.
Self-belief is an internal measurement of how much you believe…
Roughly about 95% of what we think comes from habits of thoughts and feelings called attitudes … and those habits of thoughts and feelings come from our beliefs.
We are an ever-revolving door of opportunities and thus get so caught up in our automatic programs, autopilot thinking and doing … thrown around by our triggers and wonder why most of us … and yes, I do mean most of us lack in self-worth, self-esteem and self-belief which are all vital for future success.
Self-belief and self-esteem although very similar relate to very different things. For example, self-belief is an internal driver – it’s how much you believe in your own potential that drives your confidence from within to accomplish and reach your goals for future success.
Whereas self-esteem is an external driver because it is how you regard and value the external image of yourself. Mind you a self-image generally developed from your past experiences, achievements and learnings.
To accomplish your dreams, your visions and goals it’s necessary that you work on your thoughts and feelings of self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem.
It’s an obligation, a commitment and your birthright for you to believe in yourself that everything is possible … and one can only fulfil such a task if one is present enough with one’s thoughts … all of the time!
Our beliefs impact our decisions, yet we often don’t think to question them…
Beliefs are those things that we hold dear to our heart as bona fide, truthful and correct – the likes of culture, religion, experiences and relationships that inform what you value. It’s a feeling of certainty about what something means or a foregone conclusion if you will.
Beliefs also create the road map that guides us towards our goals, ethics, standards and give us the power to take action. The challenge is that most of our beliefs are generalisations about our own past experiences based on our own interpretations of whether the experiences were painful or pleasurable.
If we function 95% of the time on autopilot, then we are 95% of the time unconscious about what we believe in and how those beliefs affect our actions. Therefore, one can imagine the calamity that our limiting beliefs can bring about. They can cause us to miss out on the very things that we want most in our lives. Just as empowering beliefs can drive us towards the life we want to live.
You are a limited edition with unlimited potential…
Have you ever been called to do more and for some reason you felt like you couldn’t move forward but weren’t quite sure what was getting in your way?
Or have you had a repeating goal that you have always wanted to achieve and haven’t? A little like Groundhog Day where you are reliving this unfulfilled goal …. a weird, strange and bizarre time loop trapped in constant déjà vu.
Well, that’s an example of a limiting belief. Guaranteed if you have had a goal that is repeating throughout your life that’s a clue that you want to be getting curious and be asking yourself … why haven’t you?
We all have limiting beliefs and yet we have unlimited potential as a human being … if only we were more conscious of these disempowered beliefs, we wouldn’t set such limits on ourselves.
The trick is to get ‘curious’ about where your limiting beliefs show up, they could come up in certain environments because we are very much conditioned by our environments. But you don’t have to be a product of your environment. No matter what experience you endured as a child you always have the power to choose the meaning you give such encounter.
You are the captain of your soul…
Certain events can profoundly impact and form our beliefs such as the death of a loved one, going through a divorce, having children, starting your own business, whatever significant event can ruffle one’s feathers and have us unconsciously alter our entire worldview.
And … this is how we create our stories, those narratives that play out all from past experiences, achievements and failures – yet past results do not equal future results otherwise what’s the point in trying.
Don’t get me wrong, there are certain things in life where I have learned my lessons and don’t need to go back there to relive them but why not look at things in your life that were successful … the ones that gave you great confidence and use those narratives to help you stay positive and step forward into the unknown.
Equally past experiences shape our beliefs about what is possible and impossible so does our imagined knowledge about the future.
This is where you can start to dissolve these limiting beliefs that no longer serve you by paving, priming and visualising your successful future because what you believe, your mind can conceive … and you will achieve it.
Keep in mind, that your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is right or wrong, what is real and not real.
Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied…
The great Dale Carnegie said that knowledge is not power but potential power, if applied. How many times have you sat in a course really pumped about the content and literally days later all forgotten?
Your work is never done, one must become a life-long learner and seek out knowledge with laser focus to be able to first become aware of your limiting beliefs and then transform them into beliefs that will catapult you forward into a successful future.
First one must seek the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, the beliefs that no longer serve you such as.
- I have to please everyone
- I will never be successful
- I don’t have enough experience
- I’ll never be a great leader
- I have to be perfect to be accepted
- I don’t deserve the things I have achieved
- Others’ opinions of me matter more than my own
- I can’t change
- I’m not good enough
- Self-care isn’t a priority
- I’m not smart/pretty/educated enough
Get curious write as many that come to mind and challenge each one by asking where did this belief come from and whose are they? Then just journal your thoughts because every time you ask a thought-provoking question your mind will always have an answer for you, if not in that instance, definitely in a couple of days. Curiosity opens a dialogue with your unconscious mind.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference…
So, if beliefs are what you hold to be true, values are what is important to you. Then what is attitude?
Two magic words that make up attitude and that is how we ‘think’ and how we ‘feel’. Attitude is how we approach and treat others because of how we think or feel about them. And … behaviour is how you show up, it is the way we act.
Most individuals funnily address the behaviour … well if you are one of these individuals, you may as well roll your sleeves up and get ready for a fight, not a physical fight, I’m talking about denial, resistance, blame and more poor behaviour because it’s an unconscious act … meaning individuals are not aware of their doings.
Your first point of contact is not to address the behaviour because we know where we will end up with such an approach, however, we can get curious and ask thought-provoking questions that will address how they are ‘feeling’ and how they are ‘thinking’. This in return will give you an idea of why they are showing up that way.
Putting it all into context beliefs are our most deeply held assumptions about ourselves, the world, and others around us. They are firmly embedded in our thinking and significantly shape our reality and behaviours. They are also self-perpetuating. Like magnets, they attract evidence that makes them stronger … and they repel anything that might challenge them, but the good news is that it is possible to change them.
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