‘Time isn’t the main thing. It’s the only thing.’ — Miles Davis
From time to time, life is going to take us to these places that we don’t want to visit but we all have appointments for. Places of depression, places of addiction, places of loss and places of betrayal. We will feel victimised, we will want to blame somebody or blame the world.
With every one of them, there is a task. To identify it is to ask, ‘What is my task here?’ and ‘How do I address that?’ In doing so, it allows us to move from a victim standpoint to a sense of active participation in our lives.
In everything that we do, there are so many probable realities. It all depends on our lens and how we want to view the world or the meaning we give to every scenario that plays out in our lives.
It’s in these appointments that we have with self that we are going to define what takes place next. It depends where we want to invest our time and energy.
For example, some probable realities are you:
- Experiencing your desire
- Wishing your desire would manifest
- Worrying your desire won’t manifest
- Waiting for your desire to manifest
- Trying to force your desire to manifest
- Figuring out what you’ll do if your desire doesn’t manifest
So, which frequency are you tuning yourself into to today?
Yin and Yang of self-development
According to the Yin and Yang philosophy, everything is constant and cyclical. In this infinite cycle, one force dominates and is then replaced by the opposing force. For example, health and sickness, poverty and wealth, positive and negative.
The circle of the Yin and Yang is what creates the whole – the two opposites make ‘one’ whole.
When these opposite energies work in unison, the way nature dictates, there is a perfect balance and harmony. We can also use the Yin and Yang symbol as a way to integrate these opposing forces to generate energy.
The Yin feminine energy in life relates to the intuitive, collaborative, emotional, passionate, creative, empathetic and receptive human being that resides in every single one of us. Then, the Yang masculine energy in life relates to the analytical, competitive, rational, determined, logical, objective and assertive human being that makes the whole.
Yin creates the form and grows it, while the Yang generates action energy and expands it.
So, how does one find balance between the two and integrate them so we experience oneness, safety, awareness, respect, connection, freedom, synergy and clarity?
Bridging the reality gap of the duality
Start with your present situation. What are your current stories in this space? What are your challenges and your pain points? Use the key words in the Yin and Yang circle as a way to elaborate your stories and your objections.
| Yin | Yang |
| I am not creative enough. | I wish I was more assertive. |
| I am way too empathetic and pick up on others’ feelings. | I am sure there is a perfectly rational explanation to why things are the way they are. |
| I don’t have enough people to help and collaborate with me. | Only smart individuals are analytical in their approach. |
| My intuition always proves me right but sometimes I ignore it. | I need to be more competitive to be the best. |
Then you build your future self, as if you no longer had these challenges or pain points.
| Yin | Yang |
| I am creative and all of my ideas are coming to fruition. | I am more confident and assertive to get the things that I need to grow. |
| I have moved from being empathetic to compassionate and give space for conversations to take place. | I am more sensible and rational in making decisions based on intelligent thinking rather than emotion. |
| I have picked a handful of individuals to collaborate with me on projects. | I am very analytical in my approach by breaking down problems into smaller chunks to complete my tasks. |
| I am using my intuitive intelligence to guide me all the way. | To be more competitive has increased my motivation to work harder to get things completed. |
Then comes the ‘la crème de la crème’ – the balance between the two.
The merge is where the magic happens.
The union and genius of opposites
‘The life of this world is nothing but the harmony of opposites.’ — Rumi
The final part of this exercise is to create three goals that will pave the path between your current state to your future state. This is the merge. You now can use the key word of ‘oneness’ as if the two energies were integrated.
Here is an example with three powerful, intentional goals for bridging the opposites’ gap:
Goal 1 – I will journal ALL of my ideas and anything that comes to mind or intuitively feels right, as this would increase my level of self-awareness. In my journal, I will write ALL of my thoughts and feelings from the day as a way to analyse them. In turn, this will help me be more conscious about the stories I tell myself in a safe and non-judgemental environment.
Goal 2 – I will create a mastermind group and personally handpick 12 entrepreneurs to collaborate with and share ideas as a way to connect with other likeminded individuals. This will help me with challenging my thinking and being more analytical with my projects. In turn, this will create synergy, interaction and cooperation.
Goal 3 – I will invest in a coach to help me build my confidence and to respect my own needs when making decisions. This will help me be more assertive in life about the things that I want. In turn, this will give me a level of freedom, oneness and respect for self.
Now, it’s time for you to put pen to paper, do the deep work and see what you come up with. Remember to check in to where you are at with your probable realities.
You’ve got this.
